I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
