i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
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