Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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