So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
