Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
