She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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