The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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