Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
