just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
