I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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