I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
