Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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