sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
