Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
