How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
