I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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