the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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