Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
