i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
