Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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