Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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