I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Screwed.edu
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
