YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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