i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
