I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
