i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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