it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
