I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
