btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
NoShamevember. You game?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
