Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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