(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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