there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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