I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
