once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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