im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
