North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
