you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
