Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
