wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
