My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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