i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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