i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
