I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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