I need help removing her.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's never too late to be topless.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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