then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
