I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
