I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
