Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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