Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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