Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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